Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Screaming into the void

I read blogs. I stalk them from my prison of middle management and I devour them. My bookmarks are riddled with my chance encounters and all time favorites. They change frequently. I like the insight into my friends' lives and I love the behind the scenes look into the lives of people I don't care for too much. This is my guilty pleasure.

I am a writer, at least by personal description. I start plays and screenplays and sometimes finish them. Usually they bore me before I get to the end. The idea of revealing my innermost thoughts and fantasies on a stage to a room full of strangers excites me. The idea of doing the same on the anonymous web terrifies me. I have decided it is time to face my fear.

The why now of the situation is quite simple: today is the first day of the rest of my life. More or less. I have a new name and a new partner for life and the stress of wedding invitations, dress fittings and menu cards has finally been lifted from my shoulders.

I have been married for ten days. I am at least forty pounds overweight for my height -- forty pounds I've gained since meeting my now darling husband. I am a constant procrastinator who puts off projects and even my career aspirations for another day. I am fast approaching my thirties and I want to fill my glass with my drink of choice while I still can. So here I am web. Read me or don't. I almost wish you wouldn't. I'll pretend you don't just to make it easier on myself. I want to be a better person, a good wife, a diligent writer, a person who actually enjoys going to the gym and sweating and starving. I want to put a piece of myself into the world. I don't know what this blog will be, that's why the description is blank. I think it will naturally fall into its proper place in the blogosphere. So give me some time, don't be too harsh and welcome to my mind, five hundred or so words at a time.

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